Bidding Farewell to My Fantasy Marriage


My hubby would never cheat on me, I would convey told you, to a greater extent than than 3 years ago. I wouldn’t convey said it arrogantly or smugly. It was only a fact. Like his pilus color. Or height.
Even equally I would convey been uttering those words, he would convey been cheating.
He had, inwards fact, been cheating on me our entire relationship. When nosotros dated, became engaged, got married, had children.
Stating this to you lot is bizarre. It’s equally though I’m talking most somebody else. Because…my hubby would never cheat on me.
Coming to price amongst the full annihilation of my reality-turned-fantasy has been 1 of the hardest things I’ve had to bargain with.
I felt rubber inwards the the world I had. I was married to somebody who, though nosotros mightiness convey our ups in addition to downs, only wouldn’t jeopardize our marriage. Or in addition to thus I thought. Believed. With every pore of my being. It was 1 matter that kept me moored, when life threatened to unmoor me.
So when I constitute out that my stone was genuinely zip to a greater extent than than sand, it frightened me, to tell the least.
But the by 3 years convey forced me to seem upwardly that my union was zip similar I thought.
Which, of course, completely alters my future. I tin never live on married to somebody who’s ever been faithful to me…unless I divorce, get married somebody else in addition to he doesn’t cheat.
I tin never completely trust my hubby to live on telling the truth. Experience has shown me that he’s capable of lying in addition to will, if necessary, to protect himself.
So I’ve non alone had to allow become of my fantasy past…but my fantasy futurity too.
We tin rebuild…and, inwards fact, are. We tin exercise a meliorate marriage, a stronger marriage, a to a greater extent than honest marriage. But I tin never 1 time again convey that sense of 100% certainty that my feelings are safely held amongst him.
It’s a helluva compromise. And exactly about days, it seems similar 1 barely worth making.
Other days, when I sentry him amongst our kids, when he sleeps beside me in addition to I imagine life without him, it feels worth it.
The matter most betrayal is that nothing, afterward, is ever the same. Not me, non him…not our marriage.
Cheated, indeed.